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Joke!
- Thread starter 4EVER17
- Start date
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1. "Your knowledge and input is always welcome but please respect the team, the drivers and other members. Abuse or harsh criticisms will not be tolerated".
2. "This forum is designated 'Family Friendly' - (ie. we have young & impressionable readers - even if they're not Members/Posters) - therefore language must be moderated! - (how would YOU feel about YOUR 9 year old reading it?)
3. "Use of characters (eg. #$*@!) that only 'partially' disguise an intended vulgar/offensive word(s) is unacceptable!
If you MUST express yourself in such a manner... use ***** and let the reader's imagination 'fill in the blanks'."
Thank you for your cooperation.
4EVER17
New member
Q. Why is the Bulldog on the front of the Mack Truck bonnett always smiling?
A: He`s smilling because he knows he only has to sit on top of the pile of s..T while you have to sit in it.
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her
mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today in the playground!"
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small, was it?"
Sally replied, "No... salty."
[crackup][crackup]
mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today in the playground!"
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small, was it?"
Sally replied, "No... salty."
[crackup][crackup]
Hardies Hero
New member
here's an oldy but a goody... Formula 1
bjr22n
New member
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between ths legs of me wife!"
That won thi the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary. "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself, You know he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull hime by the ears to make him come."
That won thi the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary. "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself, You know he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull hime by the ears to make him come."
Mohammed entered his classroom on the first day of school.
"What is your name?" asked the teacher. "Mohammed", answered the kid. "You are in Australia now. From now on your name will be Kevin," replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohammed returned home. "How was your day, Mohammed?" asked his mother "My name is not Mohammed. I'm in Australia and now my name is Kevin."
"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!", and she beat him. Then she called his father and he too beat him.
The next day Mohammed returned to school.
When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little Kevin"? "Well ma'am, 20 hours after becoming an Australian, I was attacked by two ****in' Arabs.
"What is your name?" asked the teacher. "Mohammed", answered the kid. "You are in Australia now. From now on your name will be Kevin," replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohammed returned home. "How was your day, Mohammed?" asked his mother "My name is not Mohammed. I'm in Australia and now my name is Kevin."
"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!", and she beat him. Then she called his father and he too beat him.
The next day Mohammed returned to school.
When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little Kevin"? "Well ma'am, 20 hours after becoming an Australian, I was attacked by two ****in' Arabs.
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, From now on, you will need to know that i am the man of this house and my word is the Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and when i'm finished eating my meal you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe..Then you will massage my feet and hands... Then tomorrow guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?
Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied 'The F****** funeral director would be my first guess'
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, From now on, you will need to know that i am the man of this house and my word is the Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and when i'm finished eating my meal you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe..Then you will massage my feet and hands... Then tomorrow guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?
Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied 'The F****** funeral director would be my first guess'
Mark Skaife is a very unbiased commentator
PaddockBasher
Member
Channel HRT/Vodafone 7 have stated that they always give equal air time to Ford's and Holden's
Or more like proportionate to the number of fords and holdens, so the out of 30 minutes of coverage, we get 10 minutes on ford, 19 minutes on holden, and 1 minute dedicated solely to cringeworthy banter between cromley and skaife????
If only, . . . . . . .[bw]
In reality we get 10 minutes of guileless back slapping and ego primping between cromley and Skaife, 2 minutes of Ford (including coverage) and the rest is holden time. I reckon that since the coverage has gone over to 7 , and even though it's s'posed to be the same production crew and staff, it has fallen to a new low, . . . . .[jk]