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RJ's Clipsal Reports!!!!

  • 1. "Your knowledge and input is always welcome but please respect the team, the drivers and other members. Abuse or harsh criticisms will not be tolerated".

    2. "This forum is designated 'Family Friendly' - (ie. we have young & impressionable readers - even if they're not Members/Posters) - therefore language must be moderated! - (how would YOU feel about YOUR 9 year old reading it?)

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Racin Jason

Active member
Practice and Qualifying.

DJR had an exciting day with the fantastic new look Jim Beam Racing Falcon's of Steven Johnson and Dean Fiore making their on track debut. There was much joy in the 4 practice sessions for the Jim Beam racing duo who are driving easily the best looking cars in the field. Joining them was James Moffat in the eye catching Norton Falcon and Steve Owen in the VIP Petfoods Falcon looking every bit a contender for "best in show"!

All four cars spent several seconds in the top ten before other teams bolted on sticky qualifying tyres and went faster. The Team is not worried about race pace as they spent the entire day running on old tyres borrowed from the catering transporter and are expecting to gain at least 3 seconds a lap when they bolt on "greens" for the race.

Team Manager Malcolm Swetnam was over the moon with all four DJR cars qualifying in the top 25 and is very happy with new recruit Dean Fiore and the West Coast Mafia. "Dean and his family are a very welcome addition to the DJR fold ". Malcolm was also very happy with the progress the team has made on car set up "we managed to get all four cars set up to run consistently at the same pace as each other which is fantastic because none of the drivers can complain about favouritism".

The only problem for The Team today was that the Beef Stroganoff served up for lunch didn't taste as good as it looked......

All four DJR cars will be on track for tomorrows first 250km race.


DISCLAIMER: Quotes in RJ's reports may not be always 100% truthful and names quoted may have been changed to protect the innocent. All RJ's reports are meant to be taken as humorous and are not meant to be seen as accurate or serious. :rolleyes:[:0][iddi]
 
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Poita

Administrator
Hopefully we can get more out of a race weekend this year besides the "cars look good", looks like we start 2012 as we finished 2011. :confused:
 

Racin Jason

Active member
Nothing would give me greater pleasure than writing a report that takes the piss out of one of "those" teams. Unfortunately we could be in fr another long year.....
 

Gerry

New member
Good job ;) RJ.
It isn't the best of starts particularly when not one car has come out of the blocks as a contender for pace.
 

Racin Jason

Active member
Race 1

What a fantastic day for DJR!! Steven Johnson received a hero's welcome and was mobbed by The Team and fans when he returned to the pits after his magnificent tenth place! Steve Johnson had a near miss when Jason Bright made heavy contact with the turn 8 wall, "Lucky we engineered a bit of speed out of the car otherwise I could well have been involved in Brighty's crash" said Steve Johnson.The other DJR drivers also performed magnificently all finishing in the top nineteen. Steve Owen would have finished much higher if it wasn't for getting turned around by Tim Slade's jaw.

Team owner, Dick Johnson was too busy playing with his mobile phone to comment but Team Manager Malcolm Swetnam said. "We are absolutely ecstatic with the performance today except Steve Johnson drove a little too well compared to the others". James Moffat had an uneventful race or at least that's what we think because ch7 didn't show him once. "I still can't understand why we don't get any TV coverage when we clearly have the best looking cars in the field" said Malcolm Swetnam.

Today's race was won by Jamie Whincup after Will Davison ran out of fuel on the last lap. FPR used a fuel strategy found on the ground outside the 888 transporter only to find out it was an old one that Adrian Burgess took from DJR when he left.

DJR will be back on track tomorrow for qualifying and race 2.
 

Racin Jason

Active member
Race 2

In another exciting day for Dick Johnson Racing The Team had a brilliant 75% finishing record, only The Moff failed to finish after his power steering failed. After yesterdays over achievement, Steve Johnson was handed a 15 second penalty by The Team at his first pit stop, "There is no "I" in team and Stevie realises that now" said team boss Malcolm Swetnam. Steve Owen was the best performed DJR driver today and as a result will carry a 50kg weight penalty for the next race.

Team Owner Dick Johnson lost his mobile phone so channel 7 helped out, keeping him amused during the race by giving him a microphone. In a stroke of genius, The Team managed to engineer enough speed out of the cars so that they got lapped, hence getting much needed Television coverage. Malcolm Swetnam said "it was a gamble that paid off brilliantly, we were most happy with Dean Fiore spending so much time getting in Wil Davison's way".

Only 26 starters made it to the grid for today's race which was won by Wil Davison who drove fantastically well in his FPR Falcon to finish just ahead of team mate Mark Winterbottom. Greg Murphy all but assured that he stayed the TTT in DJRClub17's tipping comp by slamming into an almost stationary Jonathan Webb during the 20 minute qualifying session. I got my jandal caught in the lid of my chillybin and missed the brake pedal" said Murphy. Jonathan Webb was not amused " I'm not racing in a plain white car again, I think Greg mistook my white paint for fleece".

The Team will be back on track at the non-championship AGP meeting in 2 weeks time where they could possibly be unleashing a secret weapon, "We've done a deal with Bowden's Own to use their products on our cars and they are supplying Bartman to come over and polish the cars before they head to Albert Park". "The Team will be looking good that's for sure" said Dick Johnson.
 
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ROB17

Super Moderator
Outstanding RJ! [bw]

Wish the team could get such a perspective on the feelings about their recent performances...

RJ sums it up nicely [crackup]
 

DJR590

New member
RJ, if you keep up that wonderful standard of journalism you could get a job with "Auto Action" or "Speedcafe".
Keep up the good work.[crackup]
 

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